The notorious “Borg Collective” of Star Trek fame have attempted to make a ‘first contact’ style infiltration of Earth, today in the 21st century. In this day and age of politics and political correctness, the borg were immediately confronted by lawyers with fierce objections to the methods of the space faring collective.

The objections voiced have been largely issues to do with the Borg’s famous introductory statements. Traditionally, upon contact with a seperate party, the Borg would transmit a message saying something along the lines of: “We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile”. While there have been several variations in the past, the general idea has been the same.

After a complicated argument about the minds of the Borg legal representatives being shared with those of all others, a condition of access to Earth was finally reached, detailing among other things – a reform to the classical Borg introductory statements in order to bring them into the current era.

The altered version reads thus:
“We are the Borg – a collective minded entity consisting of a variety of intelligent species including but not limited to: Human; Klingon; Romulan and Betazoid – with equal inclusion of genders male, female, androgenous and undecided.

The probability of your assimilation is calculated to be extremely high, but may depend on a number of factors including firepower; shielding and speed capabilities of the targeted party.

Resistance is futile*

* Futility of resistance not guaranteed due to factors identified in the preceding statement.”

Since the Borg are now required to say that every time they want to attack someone, it gives the victim plenty of time to run away. Just goes to show, red tape isn’t ALL bad.