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Ultimate Film Guide 2014

Yes, the Ultimate Film Guide is back! This is the ultimate list of all things science fiction, horror, fantasy, speculative, or just plain weird that are coming out this year. Print out and display in a prominent place for maximum film contact.

16 January

Devil’s Due – After a mysterious, lost night on their honeymoon, a newly-wed couple finds themselves dealing with an earlier-than-planned pregnancy. While recording everything for posterity, the husband begins to notice odd behaviour in his wife that they initially write off to nerves, but, as the months pass, it becomes evident that the dark changes to her body and mind have a much more sinister origin. If you’re not already fed up of found footage movies, this might be up your street.

17 January

Collider – There’s no information up for this film. It’s listed as science fiction, and that’s about it.

The Devil’s Bargain - Again, no information about this. I’m guessing it’s probably horror.

20 January

The Station – Scientists working in the German Alps discover that a glacier is leaking a liquid that appears to be affecting local wildlife.

27 January

The Girl at the End of the World - Katie and Dan are in a long distance relationship but when a catastrophic event knocks out all technology, they must find a way across oceans and land to be with each other at the end of the world. This missed the apocolypse trend of 2012 and 2013, but it might still be interesting.

29 January

I, Frankenstein – This was pushed back from last year (never a good sign). It’s about Frankenstein’s monster being a monster hunter, but seeing as they can’t even get the name of the monster right, this looks like pure schlock. Good for a fun night out though.

 

7 February

RoboCop - In 2028 Detroit, when Alex Murphy – a loving husband, father and good cop – is critically injured in the line of duty, the multinational conglomerate OmniCorp sees their chance for a part-man, part-robot police officer. You know the story of RoboCop. What remains to be seen is if this remake can match the original.

Mr. Peabody & Sherman - Another film pushed back to a later release date. A film version of the classic American cartoon, this looks about as good as those Smurfs films.

10 February

The Curse of Ba’al - No synopsis for this film yet. It seems to be a bog standard horror film, probably cashing in on the current trend for demons.

14 February

The Lego Movie - An ordinary LEGO minifigure, mistakenly thought to be the extraordinary MasterBuilder, is recruited to join a quest to stop an evil LEGO tyrant from gluing the universe together. OK, the Lego games are good and funny, but this might be a step too far.

The Pirate Fairy – This is yet another Tinkerbell movie, because Disney is not going to stop milking a successful cash cow. Still, it has Tom Hiddleston and Christina Hendricks in it, so it might be divertingly enjoyable.

The Universe - This is listed as being ‘sci fi’ but has no other information.

17 February

Dragon Day - A family getaway to a mountain town turns deadly when China launches a massive cyberattack against the USA, forcing former NSA engineer Duke Evans to fight to save his wife and daughter in the New World Order.

18 February

The Last Scout - Another science fiction film with no synopsis available. Honestly, what’s so hard about providing a vague summary of a plot?

19 February

Vampire Academy - Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, half human/vampire, guardians of the Moroi, peaceful, mortal vampires living discretely within our world. Her legacy is to protect the Moroi from bloodthirsty, immortal Vampires, the Strigoi. This is her story. The tagline is ‘They Suck at School’. I would suggest that this ought to be shortened.

21 February

Pompeii - Hey look, it’s Titanic with a volcano instead.

Only Lovers Left Alive – A story centred on two vampires who have been in love for centuries. With Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston starring, this film has had some massive hype. It looks fascinating, and is one of my most eagerly anticipated films of the year.

Winter’s Tale - A burglar falls for an heiress as she dies in his arms. When he learns that he has the gift of reincarnation, he sets out to save her.

Welcome to Yesterday - A group of teens discover secret plans of a time machine, and construct one. However, things start to get out of control.

26 February

The Book Thief - Another of my top films for this year. While subjected to the horrors of World War II Germany, young Liesel finds solace by stealing books and sharing them with others. Under the stairs in her home, a Jewish refugee is being sheltered by her adoptive parents. This film – and the book it’s based on – are narrative by the omnipresent figure of Death. It’s a beautiful story, and hopefully the film does it justice.

28 February

Legacy of Thorn – Four years ago, Jess and her friends lived a nightmare that has left her almost killed by the unstoppable killer ‘Thorn’. Four years later, Jessica and the survivors make an attempt to stop him once and for all.

 

3 March

The Human Race – Battle Royale with running.

6 March

The Hypnophile - ‘The Hypnophile is the first in a series of sick and twisted thrillers where the unexpected darkness becomes a reality and your nightmares are the only rest bite between the utter mayhem and madness that unleashes at the hands of the Hypnophile the owner of your mind, your dreams and your soul. There will be NO ESCAPE FROM HER.’ Of course.

7 March

The Grand Budapest Hotel - The adventures of Gustave H, a legendary concierge at a famous European hotel between the wars, and Zero Moustafa, the lobby boy who becomes his most trusted friend. It’s a Wes Anderson film, so it’s guaranteed to be weird and wonderful.

300: Rise of an Empire - The Greek general Themistocles battles an invading army of Persians under the mortal-turned-god, Xerxes.

10 March

Memory Lane – An orphaned war-veteran routinely travels between our world and the afterlife in search of his fiance’s killer by stopping and starting his own heart.

14 March

Under the Skin - An alien seductress preys upon hitchhikers in Scotland. Another really interesting film that I would recommend seeing.

The Zero Theorem - A computer hacker’s goal to discover the reason for human existence continually finds his work interrupted thanks to the Management; this time, they send a teenager and lusty love interest to distract him. This is the new Terry Gilliam film. I am an unashamed Gilliam fan, and this is one of 2014′s highlights.

17 March

Cabin Fever: Patient Zero – A flesh-eating virus spreads throughout a cruise ship in the Caribbean after it crashes into an abandoned scientific research boat.

28 March

Captain America: The Winter Soldier - Steve Rogers struggles to embrace his role in the modern world and battles a new threat from old history: the Soviet agent known as the Winter Soldier. I AM VERY EXCITE.

Muppets Most Wanted - While on a grand world tour, The Muppets find themselves wrapped into an European jewel-heist caper headed by a Kermit the Frog look-alike and his dastardly sidekick.

Noah - Darren Arnofsky’s retelling of the Biblical myth, where he magically makes ancient Palestine entirely populated by white people.

31 March

Valley of the Demon - Another independent British horror film. This was all the information I could find.

 

1 April

Dead Walkers: Rise of the 4th Reich - It’s a film about zombie Nazis.

4 April

Divergent - Beatrice Prior, a teenager with a special mind, finds her life threatened when an authoritarian leader seeks to exterminate her kind in her effort to seize control of their divided society. Based on a YA book series, I have heard mixed things. It might be a good popcorn flick.

The Double – A comedy centered on a man who is driven insane by the appearance of his doppleganger.

11 April

The Quiet Ones - A University physics professor assembles a team to help create a poltergeist.

18 April

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 - Peter Parker runs the gauntlet as the mysterious company Oscorp sends up a slew of supervillains against him, impacting on his life. I’m hoping this film is as good as the first one.

Magic Magic - A naive young tourist’s road trip across Chile with friends turns into a waking nightmare.

25 April

Transcendence – A terminally ill scientist downloads his mind into a computer. This grants him power beyond his wildest dreams, and soon he becomes unstoppable.

28 April

Geek Undead – A mild-mannered IT tech fights zombies.

 

2 May

Frank – A comedy about a young wannabe musician, Jon, who discovers he’s bitten off more than he can chew when he joins an eccentric pop band led by the mysterious and enigmatic Frank.

16 May

Godzilla – RUN! IT’S GODZILLA!

22 May

X-Men: Days of Future Past – The X-Men send Wolverine to the past in a desperate effort to change history and prevent an event that results in doom for both humans and mutants. Another film I am very much looking forward to!

27 May

Soldiers of the Damned – Nazi soldiers and the occult.

30 May

Maleficent – The “Sleeping Beauty” tale is told from the perspective of the villainous Maleficent and looks at the events that hardened her heart and drove her to curse young Princess Aurora.

Edge of Tomorrow – A soldier fighting in a war with aliens finds himself caught in a time loop of his last day in the battle, though he becomes better skilled along the way.

The Midnight Horror Show - The Moreau Family travel around the UK putting on an underground variety show for an adult audience. But behind the curtain there is something more sinister going on than simple entertainment.

 

1 June

AfterDeath – Five young people wake up dead. Washed up by the tide they scramble to an abandoned beach house, soon realising that the perpetual night and blasts of pain suggest this is some version of hell. Between in-fighting and attacks by a demonic shadow creature, they recall the collapse of the nightclub that brought them here – and begin seeing hope of a second chance in the cabin’s two mysterious paintings…

Cute Little Buggers - English knock-off of Gremlins.

The Redwood Massacre – The Redwood Massacre horror story is legend throughout Scotland. Every year party-goers flock to the site on the anniversary of the murders. A group of campers heading for the house soon find themselves being stalked by a mysterious evil.

14 June

Eve – A year on from the outbreak in a lonely world where the remaining survivors of humanity are hunted down by a new evolutionary threat. Our group who are now down to just four stumble onto an abandoned refugee\ evac center looking for food, with deadly consequences.

30 June

C.O.O.L.I.O Time Travel Gangster – A film about London Gangsters, Time Travel and Good verses Evil. As a young disbelieving reporter interviews the oldest man on earth, she unwittingly discovers how history is changing before her very eyes.

 

4 July

How to Train Your Dragon 2 – It’s been five years since Hiccup and Toothless successfully united dragons and vikings on the island of Berk. While Astrid, Snoutlout and the rest of the gang are challenging each other to dragon races (the island’s new favorite contact sport), the now inseparable pair journey through the skies, charting unmapped territories and exploring new worlds. When one of their adventures leads to the discovery of a secret ice cave that is home to hundreds of new wild dragons and the mysterious Dragon Rider, the two friends find themselves at the center of a battle to protect the peace. Now, Hiccup and Toothless must unite to stand up for what they believe while recognizing that only together do they have the power to change the future of both men and dragons.

10 July

Transformers: Age of Extinction - oh, who really cares at this point?

17 July

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes – Survivors of the simian plague trigger an all-out war between humanity and Caesar’s growing forces.

25 July

Jupiter Ascending – In a universe where humans are near the bottom of the evolutionary ladder, a young destitute human woman is targeted for assassination by the Queen of the Universe because her very existence threatens to end the Queen’s reign.

 

1 August

Guardians of the Galaxy – In the far reaches of space, an American pilot named Peter Quill finds himself the object of a manhunt after stealing an orb coveted by the villainous Ronan.

6 August

Nightfall – Two friends discover a vampire conspiracy to enslave the human race.

8 August

Hercules - Having enduring his legendary twelve labors, Hercules, the Greek demigod, has his life as a sword-for-hire tested when the King of Thrace and his daughter seek his aid in defeating a tyrannical warlord. This film has Dwayne Johnson, John Hurt, and Ian McShane, so it sounds pretty epic.

15 August

The Expendables 3 – The third instalment of the action-adventure franchise that follows the exploits of Barney Ross, Lee Christmas, and their associates.

22 August

Deliver Us from Evil – NY police officer Ralph Sarchie, investigates a series of crimes. He joins forces with an unconventional priest, schooled in the rituals of exorcism, to combat the possessions that are terrorizing their city.

29 August

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For – The town’s most hard-boiled citizens cross paths with some of its more reviled inhabitants.

 

1 September

Rock Band Vs Vampires – Oh dear.

12 Septmber

The Boxtrolls – A young orphaned boy raised by underground cave-dwelling trash collectors tries to save his friends from an evil exterminator. Based on the children’s novel ‘Here Be Monsters’ by Alan Snow.

3 October

Dracula Untold – Vampire mythology combined with the true history of Prince Vlad to tell the ‘origin’ of Dracula.

10 October

Broken Nation – A futuristic Magnificent Seven set in a post apocalyptic Britain.

17 October

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Michael Bay wasn’t content ruining one franchise.

24 October

The Maze Runner – Battle Royale in a maze.

Paranormal Activity 5 – Exactly the same the same things that happened in the last four films are bound to occur in this one. Do not expect any significant changes.

31 October

Invasion of the Not Quite Dead – In 1978 a deadly virus is contained… Thirty years later the virus is released on an unsuspecting island off the coast of England in this ‘unique’ take on the Zombie genre.

Ouija – 9 friends take a camping trip into the woods, only to find they are not alone.

Facility 31 – Guilt-ridden Army prisoner Rosie Hinton has to lead a group of detainees to safety when a clean-up of an abandoned facility unleashes a sinister secret.

 

1 November

Blind Date – Charlie and Maggie are both looking for that special someone, after meeting through a dating website they agree to go on a date. What follows, no one can expect.

7 November

Interstellar – A group of explorers make use of a newly discovered wormhole to surpass the limitations on human space travel and conquer the vast distances involved in an interstellar voyage.

21 November

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part One – Katniss Everdeen reluctantly becomes the symbol of a mass rebellion against the autocratic Capitol. One of my top picks for the year.

 

1 December

Hadron – As humanity battles swarms of flesh-eating bugs, a teenage girl is forced to go on the run with her younger sister, and discovers powers of her own that maybe the key to saving the world.

5 December

Exodus - This is a film about Moses, and the exodus of the Jews from Egypt. However, I am disgusted that this film has an all-white cast when they are portraying Africans and Palestinians. I really would advise that you avoid both films for their appalling whitewashing.

12 December

Home – A group of aliens seek refuge from their enemies by hiding out on Earth.

19 December

The Hobbit: There and Back Again – Another film I am eagerly waiting for. The trilogy of Hobbit films conclude.

21 December

Tales of Albion – Myths, legends and folklore of Britain re-told in eight interwoven tales.

26 December

Night at the Museum – Hopefully, this is better than the last film.

 

 

 

 

* All information is correct at time of posting, but dates may be altered or changed over the course of the year.

 

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