I don’t know about you, but I think this is genius. GENIUS.

When closed, this hoodie’s design shows a simple palm. Not much out of the ordinary there.  But pull the zip down a little bit and its full geeky potential is realised – it’s a Vulcan Salute Hoodie! Admit it – that’s awesome. Nerdy and awesome.

If you’ve saved up your latinum bars and know a geek in need of a nifty Christmas present, head over to Threadless where the hoodie’s available for $40 (£25.60ish, or 30.5ish euros).

I instantly expected this to be in Nevada, for some reason, but no! It’s coming from the Netherlands.

The opera is written entirely in Klingon, and features an array of very suspect looking plastic forehead extensions.

For further details and video, click here to access the BBC!

Sci-Fi has a long and proud history of cancellation. Perfectly good shows (and plenty of plain awful shows) have seen the axe for a multitude of different reasons. Let’s take a look at five sure-fire ways to ruin a decent show.

1) Air your show on FOX
As Firefly, The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Dollhouse has shown, quality has no impact on the lifetime of your show if you choose to air it on FOX. In fact, it would seem that longevity in FOX is inversely proportional to quality. Firefly was absolute quality. Just Google “firefly cancelled” to see the outcry. Dollhouse, although still a good show, wasn’t near Firefly’s calibre, and therefore lasted for slightly longer before reaching the same grisly demise. And let’s not even get started on Sliders! That’s it, Fox: create some of the finest science fiction of the last decade before callously shooting it down. Good call!

2) Kill off the lead character (or at least get rid of them unceremoniously)
Once they’re gone, the show can’t be far behind. Although Earth: Final Conflict lasted for some time after the death of William Boone, played by Kevin Kilner. However, when you base your show so firmly around the lead character’s personality and moral conflicts, you have a huge amount of creative rebuilding and restructuring that is not easy to successfully achieve. Even Ben Browder’s introduction to Stargate SG-1 to replace Richard Dean Anderson, although relatively well managed, signalled the beginning of the end for the show (even if it did provide enough energy to delay the inevitable for a year or two)

3) Go on for too long
Star Trek is probably the finest example. You can’t keep producing top quality stories week-in, week-out for fifteen years. Voyager and Enterprise probably didn’t need to happen. Deep Space Nine was tremendous, and after that the franchise should probably have taken three or four years out to refresh and re-energise. Voyager’s premise was strong, but it’s implementation was poor. As soon as the writer’s think creating an incredibly inaccurate Irish village in the holodeck is a good idea, it’s time to panic. Being from Ireland, the whole thing was laughable. And it was never going to be good sci-fi.

4) Sex it up!
Ratings are falling, reviews are mediocre, what do you do? Get your most attractive female cast member to take her clothes off, regardless of the plot making sense. Nudity is always a winner, right? Sadly, it’s not. Enterprise’s attempts to “sex it up” in season three were, frankly, ludicrous. Star Trek, according to Gene Roddenberry, was never adverse to lascivious female aliens: Orion slave girls, anyone? But quite frankly, making Jolene Blalock little more than eye-candy was a poor call. It didn’t fit the character, and was blatantly an attempt to attract an audience of hormonal college boys. Are the same men interested in Jolene Blalock’s “assets” going to care about the ramifications of a temporal anomaly? I doubt. Voyager and Enterprise’s writers made the other cast act like giggling school girls around Jeri Ryan’s Seven of Nine and Blalock’s T’Pol respectively. It wasn’t clever, nor effective.

5) When all else fails, add zombies

Take this:

Note the stirring music, high production values, moral conflict and powerful premise.

Now, take five years later:

Note the alien vampires, poor acting, poor dialogue and little or no moral/emotional conflict whatsoever? Just gunshots and explosions.

The decline still brings a tear to my eye.

Win 2 gold tickets to the official Star Trek convention in Vegas!

The official Star Trek Magazine has a sensational prize up for grabs for one lucky winner – two gold tickets to the official Star Trek convention on August 5-8 in Las Vegas.

The soon to be sold out gold tickets entitles holders to a host of sensational perks, including complimentary in-person autographs with guests and exclusive access to the Saturday night gala party.

Guests at the official Star Trek convention include: WILLIAM SHATNER (Captain James T. Kirk), JERI RYAN (Seven of Nine), JONATHAN FRAKES (William T. Riker), CONNOR TRINNEER (Charles “Trip” Tucker), NANA VISITOR (Major Kira), RENE AUBERJONOIS (Odo/ Curzon Dax/ Douglas Pabst), ARMIN SHIMERMAN (Quark/ Audrid Dax/ Herbert Rossoff), with many more to be added…

The Gold Ticket entitles holders to a host of sensational perks, including complimentary in-person autographs with guests and exclusive access to a Saturday night gala celebration.

For your chance to win enter the competition here

I’ve recently started planning my wedding to a fellow sci-fi/fantasy geek, whom I’ve shared the past seven wonderful years with (Happy Anniversary, sweetie!).  We certainly intend on making certain elements of the blessed event geek-tastic, but it got me thinking: how far do some die hard fans take it?  I decided to investigate.

Geeky Wedding Ceremonies:

The possibilities are virtually endless.  Typing “geeky weddings” into Google image search brought up thousands of terrific results from the special days of geeks around the world.  From a lightsaber salute honoring the bride and groom, to “I do”s by your nearest ordained Klingon, themed wedding ceremonies seemed to be a classic sci-fi staple for geeky couples.

The most interesting example I found was a hardcore Star Wars wedding.  The groom was fully dedicated to being Admiral Ackbar, complete with mask, the couple was married by Slave Leia, and most of the wedding party were dressed in some kind of far, far away galaxy garb.  And check out that epically cool cake!

Geeky Wedding Cakes:

The sugary, delicious confection that takes center stage at most weddings can now be designed to the strictest of specifications.  Most brides still go with the traditional ivory tiered cake, but the bells and whistles are just a bit fancier.  Geeks have a whole new range to think about when it comes to designing their wedding cake.  Maybe a diorama of the original Enterprise, or the One Up mushrooms from Mario.  There are plenty of ideas to be had, as well as a variety of action figure cake toppers.

I personally like this Stargate cake topper.  I just don’t see enough of those.

Geeky Wedding Rings:

It’s now possible to display your eternal geeky love on your sacred fingers with themed wedding sets.  In my search, I came across rings featuring USB ports, binary, and my favorite, elvish.  The beautiful scrawling script on the “One Ring” is now available on many rings for purchase for that special day.  I happen to find elvish very pleasing to the eye, and since it’s actually a real language, you can inscribe whatever loving phrase your heart desires.

Anyone else getting married soon? Are you keeping the geek in your nuptials? I wonder how many Avatar themed weddings will pop up this year… lets just hope the blue body paint doesn’t get out of hand.

One thing that science fiction movies have plenty of are fantastic lines and over the years the list of extremely stellar quotes has become longer and more exciting. Creating this list was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, there were just too many and narrowing it down to 10 was a daunting process. I actually shed a few tears when I removed, “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope” and nearly gave up. Luckily, I persevered and can now present to you, my list.

10.  “M.I. does the dying. Fleet just does the flying.” – Johnny Rico, Starship Troopers (1997)

Why:  Johnny Rico just had his lieutenant and his best friend die in his arms and when he tells command to blow up the outpost he is given the response, “Negative on your request. The sky marshal has other plans for planet ‘P.’” That would irritate me a bit as well, not to mention that he was picked up by his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend that she broke up with him for. Poor Johnny, he just can’t catch a break. Also, who doesn’t enjoy a little Casper Van Dien jaw clenching? This line is great for it.

9.  “Leeloo Dallas, Multipass.” – Leeloo, The Fifth Element (1997)

Why:   Because I love Milla Jovovich. She is amazing in this movie and after it came out I was fully planning on naming my daughter Leeloo, dying my hair orange and getting some white strips of leather to wear around town. This quote also made it into my top 10 over others because I use it fairly often in my day to day life, for instance, every single time someone asks to see my ID.

8.  “Are you telling me you built a time machine… out of a Delorean?” – Marty McFly, Back to the Future (1985)

Why:  If you are going to build a time machine you might as well do it with some style, am I right? Deloreans look more like time machines than cars anyway so the Doc was already half way there, all it needed was the flux-capacitor and 1.21 gigawatts of electricity. Oh, and Michael J. Fox is the man so he makes this quote better.

7.  ”E.T. phone home.” – E.T., E.T. The Extraterrestrial (1982)

Why:  You probably assume that I am quoting E.T. when he points to the sky and says this line, I am not. I am actually saying, “E.T. phone HOOOOOME!” from when he is coming back to life again and Elliott finds him. He is such a cutie pie and I love him. His face makes me smile every time I think about it.

6.  “I’ll be back.” – The Terminator, The Terminator (1984)

Why:  I can remember being on the playground in elementary school, dropping Terminator lines like there was no tomorrow and I hadn’t even heard of the movie yet. When I finally saw The Terminator for the first time, it was like fitting the last puzzle piece of my childhood into its spot and everything was right in the world. I finally understood what I was talking about at recess and I gave 7 year old me a high five.

5.  “Live long and prosper.” – Spock, Star Trek (1960s)

Why:  I feel I must preface this by saying I am a much bigger Star Wars fan than Star Trek but I will admit to using this line more than several times throughout the course of my life. It is such a nice way of bidding adieu and when I finally figured out how to separate my ring and middle fingers, I felt like I had accomplished something truly impressive. It also helps that I have a crush on Spock after watching Zachary Quinto in the role. Sorry, Leonard Nimoy, you never did it for me.

4.  ”Get away from her, you bitch!” – Ellen Ripley, Aliens (1986)

Why:  This is one of my favorites for one simple reason, Ripley is badass. Who else would talk to an alien like that?

3.  ”There is no spoon.” – Spoon Boy, The Matrix (1999)

Why:….There is no spoon?? Whaaat? Wow, you are RIGHT, Spoon Boy! There IS no spoon. All of this is… it’s fake, it’s not real! Am I really here? Are YOU really here? Is this air I’m breathing? How will I eat my cereal?

2.  ”I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I cant do that.” – HAL 9000, 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Why:  Talk about giving the heebie jeebies, this line left me a serious case of the goosebumps. The idea of computers becoming so smart that they can take over the world is a hot topic in the science fiction world and this movie, without a doubt, does it the best. HAL is one creepy heuristic algorithmic machine, from his monotone voice to the way his little red eye would watch the goings on of the crew… it’s no wonder he was ranked #13 in AFIs Top Villains of All Time.

1.  ”Do or do not, There is no try.” – Yoda, Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Why:  Wise, is he. If there is one quote that can be used nearly every day and still hold the same power as it did the first time, this is it. When someone uses this line against me I feel ashamed, then I feel empowered. It’s only different in my mind! I can do anything! I will do it and succeed or do it and fail, either way I am giving it my all and succeeding in life! How is it that Star Wars can make me feel so good? Thank the maker.

Honorable Mention: “No Nukes! No Nukes!” – Rockhound, Armageddon (1998)

Why:  I could be at work, class, food shopping, driving, pretty much doing anything and when I remember this line I will burst out laughing because Steve Buscemi is so awesomely ridiculous.

If you disagree with any of my selections or feel I have missed some particularly awesome gems, comment!  I’d love to discuss.

What is it about Star Trek: Voyager that inspires so many casual Star Trek fans to declare it to be the “Best Star Trek show!”?  It had its moments, certainly, but can Voyager’s finest hours even begin to compare to some of those of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine?  Does Voyager have an episode en par with, say, In The Pale Moonlight?  I dare say, no.  And I think the reasons why Voyager’s popularity is perhaps to surprisingly enduring lie – unfortunately – relatively close to Jeri Ryan’s chest.

Star Trek: Voyager had a few firsts.  It was, obviously, the first Star Trek incarnation to be led by a female captain.  It was also the first to feature a regular cast member in a catsuit, in the form of Jeri Ryan’s Seven of Nine.   And ask any passer-by what they think of when they think Star Trek: Voyager, one of Captain Janeway or Seven of Nine will usually spring to mind first (followed some time later by a mention of “Oh, and that Doctor dude”).  Voyager’s increased recognition of sexuality certainly matched its outlook.  It was a definite departure rather than continuation from the format of its immediate predecessor.  Deep Space Nine had brought us dark, deep angst; Voyager provided a lighter show, free of the burdensome story-arcs that had weighed heavily upon DS9’s later seasons.  It was, in a word, more fun: more accessible to the average Joe.  And don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Voyager.  Some of the moments, dialogue and scenes were extremely memorable.  But Voyager can never be viewed in the same league as Deep Space Nine.

The Avery Brooks-led cast of Deep Space Nine provided a much, much finer ensemble.  A strong collection of talented actors, DS9 had characters with multi-dimensional facets and tremendous depth.  Voyager’s cast essentially formed a triumvirate in the later years: a Janeway/Seven/Doctor tripod which gave the show its backbone.  The rest of the senior staff were relegated to little footnotes in the memory of the show.  And name a memorable Voyager villain…  I can’t really think of one either.  There’s no Dukat, Weyoun or Damar to fall back on: no insidious Founders.  Instead we have an over-reliance on a tired concept in the Borg, and some ‘cool’ new CGI aliens in Species 8472.  The only truly memorable villain unique to Voyager was Anorax, in ‘Year of Hell’.  Why?  Because he has depth: an element of human tragedy that makes his character both driven and empathetic, as well as relentless – hallmarks of a classic villain.  He does also stand testament to the fact that Voyager had its moments.

And Seven of Nine’s struggles to find her humanity certainly had strong moments in the pursuit of the truth about her parents, and Janeway’s motherly approach to her education.  But too often Voyager fell back upon the over-sensualised sexuality that drove its later years.  Seven dating.  Seven kissing.  Seven’s lusting.  The list goes on.  These were subjects that I don’t altogether abhor being presented, I merely found the manner in which they were so juvenile.  They were approached with comedy in mind – light-hearted entertainment which concealed the sensitive education which could be gleaned from such stories in Deep Space Nine.

For even in terms of humanity, Deep Space Nine surely blows Voyager out of the water.  The contrasting marriages of Worf/Dax, Keiko/O’Brien, Rom/Leeta handled a myriad of issues, all sensitively, and were hardly bereft of comedy.  But they were realisitic.  O’Brien’s moaning to Bashir about Keiko’s attitudes etc. provided optimistic lessons on how marriage can work.  There was no marriage on Voyager.  There was early Neelix/Kes undertones, but Kes was thrown out the window by Season 4.  If the shows were relationships, Deep Space Nine would be a tempestuous, complex marriage whilst Voyager enjoyed a one night stand.

Frivolous terms in which to examine the shows, perhaps, but meaningful nonetheless.  For Deep Space Nine used its approach to communicate a depth of thought Voyager – for me – never achieved.   The Ben Sisko/Jake Sisko familial relationship was heart-warming and realistic.  Odo’s feelings of isolation on the station were, for me, conveyed far more realistically than Neelix or Kes’s similar situation. 

Alas, television changes.  Today, Deep Space Nine would be shown on HBO.  Voyager, on the CW.   UPN – the network airing Voyager back in the day – used the show as their flagship.  They steered their network image very much away from sensitive drama towards a more open, accessible youth demographic.  Jeri Ryan’s casting was a testament to that (for the record, I do quite admire Jeri Ryan’s acting ability, I merely hold great cynicism towards the motivation behind her casting). 

Thus, Deep Space Nine was designed intentionally to achieve something very different from Voyager.  Neither show failed, for they achieved what they tried to be.  Deep Space Nine, living in the shadow of The Next Generation, and then Voyager in many ways, was always given the creative freedom to be more adventurous dramatically.  Voyager was the show that was designed to bring in the ratings.  UPN believed this could be achieved by subtle and not-so-subtle actioning-up of the show, coupled with greater sex appeal.  Voyager, therefore, achieved what it set out to do: running a full seven years.

So when someone declares Voyager to be the best show, I suppose it very much depends what you’re looking for in your Star Trek.  Am I being a dramatic pedant – a televisual snob looking down about the degenerate, illiterate working classes of today?  Perhaps.  I have strong opinions about why I prefer DS9 to Voyager, and perhaps they are overly cynical.  But there is substance behind my allegations, and I for one, when watching Trek, watch it to be challenged, not turned on.

Stunning though Seven’s figure may have been, Sisko’s monologue from ‘In The Pale Moonlight’, or Dukat’s meltdown in ‘Sacrifice of Angels’ will stay with me for the rest of my life.  They will carry lessons Voyager never conveyed.  I feel simultaneously proud and humbled to have learned the lessons Deep Space Nine taught – to have fed from the minds and talents of so many gifted people.  Voyager – I enjoyed.  I was happy to be entertained.

I guess I’d rather be humbled, than laugh at Seven and the Doctor swapping personalities for an hour. 

Each to their own.

As usual, if you feel like your opinions just can’t be summed up in a simple vote, feel free to discuss it by leaving a comment.

In Brief:  It’s lived long, and now it finally prospers.

In Detail:  It’s been a very, very long time since I’ve watched the popular folk around me gasping as photon torpedoes smash into something.

Even longer since I’ve heard the college jock express his jealousy at someone seeing the latest Star Trek movie before him.

Rather than focusing on a plot synopsis, since I think everyone should go see this movie and learn it for themselves, I’ll focus on analysis.  J.J. Abrams has achieved what many perceived to be impossible.  He’s made Star Trek popular, sought after;  bigger than the latest Bond flick.  Quite how he’s managed it perplexes me slightly.  It’s been almost effortless.  Call it gifted creative vision if you will, but from the first moment the trailers hit, the creator of Lost and Fringe mixed the finest aspects of a forty-year old franchise and injected it with something fresh and revitalising.

What’s perhaps most impressive about this film is its subtlety.  So often where obvious homages and fanboy tributes would have been so very tempting to include, Abrams steps back and puts his own unique slant on the Trek universe.  Not to say that this is a complete reboot – it in fact functions plausibly within current Trek canon: overwriting nothing while creating so much more – rather, it is a perfect example of how to walk the very fine creative line between the professional and the amateur.

So, this succeeds at creating a new yet believable Star Trek universe – how does it rate as a movie?  Well, it was possibly the fastest two hours of my life, which stands as a measure of how much I enjoyed it.  It flew past.   The pacing is pretty much exemplary, although it does perhaps take quite a long time setting up Kirk and Spock at the Academy where it’s hard to tell when the real plot’s going to get going.  Minor quibble, barely worth mentioning.

As an action movie, I don’t think you’ll find one with a finer ensemble cast or a stronger storyline.  So much is crammed in here, and the movie does a great job of giving each of the minor characters some form of personality and backstory (no small task in a two-hour movie).  Indeed, if anything, I’d have liked an extra half hour to really see more of Eric Bana’s Nero, who perhaps just fell slightly short as a villain.  While we see his motives, his means and his emotions expertly portrayed by Bana, he lacked the time and dedication afforded to villains like Khan, the Borg Queen and even Shinzon in previous movies.  I’d have liked to have seen Bana utilised a little more.

Having said that, I wouldn’t cut a single moment of either of Kirk or Spock’s development.  Pine really impressed me, nailing the role.  The casting of a relative unknown, as Abrams has said, really helped, as you just saw him as James T. Kirk: the rebellious, rule-bending charmer who cheated at the Kobayashi Maru – not because he was being a thug, but because he was too good for the system, and what’s more: he believed that fully.  Additionally, Zacchary Quinto’s performance is absolutely outstanding.  His is a Spock quite different from Nimoy’s, yet that’s absolutely understood.  A youthful, more naive Spock struggling with himself.  And Nimoy’s final message to his younger self just makes this subtle yet important difference succinctly understood.  Again, Abrams balances delicately, and the outcome is sublime.

Simon Pegg’s performance as Scotty, although restricted to the latter half of the movie, is quite perfect also.  Quirky, imaginative and with a rather good Scottish accent, he provides comic-relief in the absolutely right amount.  It’s interspersed at the right intervals, it’s not in-your-face and it’s portrayed by a master of comic acting.  Top job.

Karl Urban’s McCoy?  Again, perhaps a similar problem to Bana’s Nero.  Full of talent and potential, but not quite realised as fully as it could be.  It’s good to see the beginning of the friendship with Kirk, but whereas Kirk and Spock’s relationship develops naturally and believably, the McCoy loyalty and bond seems perhaps a little contrived again through lack of time to explore the link between them.  Why does McCoy really risk it all to help Kirk,  other than that they shared a stiff drink on a shuttlecraft?  Again, a little more could have been developed here I felt.

Saldana, Yelchin and Cho all do more than adequate jobs of their characters, and I’ll perhaps have more opinions in later viewings.  I thought Saldana was particularly effective at delivering a performance that is often lacking on modern media – a determined, hardened woman who doesn’t need to act like a man or wear tight leather: she’s a confident woman, and that’s accepted.  Rather Roddenberry-esque, and very much appreciated.

In terms of the visual effects, these are probably the best I’ve ever seen, both technically and creatively in a movie of this type.  I was so happy to see the traditional Abrams absence of glorified effects exposure.  You could tell this wasn’t a Michael Bay production: no needless and gratuitous effects shots for the sake of it (credits aside, and they were simply stunning!).  Instead, as Abrams so often chooses to do (and I welcome it), the effects are integrated into the story telling.  The camera never loses sight of the human action involved, never tries to jam in as many effects as possibly.  It’s always designed to convey the intensity of the combat, the disorientation of the people or the enormity of what’s going on (see Vulcan implosion) – it’s not just an attempt to get as many explosions or pixels on the screen as possible.  It brings so many modern blockbusters to their knees, and I was  delighted to see that Star Trek stood above that.

The audio deserves a mention too.  The classic, vintage Trek sounds are seamlessly integrated into an intriguing new soundscape for the 21st Century, and it just works.  The sounds are crisp (my God, that warp effect is beyond awesome) and sharp, and the constant background chatter when the Kelvin comes under attack is a particularly fine example of how audio is used creatively and differently than what’s come before in the Trek universe.  Abrams also appears to have been rather creative about when and when not to use sound in space.  It’s nice for effect at times, but I can’t say it made much sense in terms of consistency.  I’ll look out for it in future viewings.

It’s nice that the movie doesn’t always take itself too seriously.  Some of the humor (even thought it may be subtle and unusual for Star Trek shows – ironic sarcasm from Spock or Nero for instance) comes from unlikely places, but it’s good to see the experimentation.  I guess whether it works or not is down to personal interpretation, but if this movie is about reinvention, then it’s mission accomplished.

Abrams’ Star Trek is a success.  It may not be the finest piece of purist Star Trek ever to grace our screens, but I have little doubt it’ll be the most popular (universally, that is).  I can hardly conceive a movie which could more effectively have bridged the gap between Nerd and Nerd-Killer, and actually made it work.  It’s a creative success, it’s good fun, and I do feel it captures (to an extent) some of Roddenberry’s original vision.   It may not have been overly explicit, but as my non-Trekkie friend remarked as he left (having never watched Trek before), “I really loved the positive outlook it gave on humans.  Most movies make it feel so contrived.”  There’s little more you can ask than that, is there?

It’s a triumph, and I think history will record it as one.  This one won’t burn out or fade away like a pleasant memory like Serenity, it will be fondly remembered and respected by fans and non-believers alike.  And that’s good.  Because for perhaps the first time, Star Trek has broken out of its closet and tackled a new demographic it may not have enjoyed success with before.  It’s taken forty years, and many have tried.

J.J., I salute you.

P.S. – Does anyone know if you can you actualy set dilithium crystals to maximum?  Wasn’t convinced by that line.

Grade: A

Watch The Hunt for Gollum Here [Free]

It was released on Saturday.  Its server crashed within 24 hours as more than a quarter of a million piled in to watch it.

You’d think the latest Star Trek movie had leaked online, but no.  This was The Hunt for Gollum, and it was equally magnificent.  Well, sort of.

It’s the best fan-film production I’ve seen, and while it does tell a self-contained story to a point, it slots nicely in as an unseen glimpse just before the Fellowship of the Ring begins.

The acting’s excellent, the costumes as good as Peter Jacksons’ – it’s magnificent.  I heartily recommend you take a look.