Milton Keynes.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year – and you know what that means!  That’s right … snow!  As I sit writing this, the UK is slowly but surely being covered by billions and billions of tiny white flecks of snow. Naturally this means that, despite living in a country where this happens pretty much every year, every day life is brought to a standstill and the most sensible of people quake in fear at the idea of being forced to drive slightly more slowly on the roads. Madness!  As your view out of the window begins more and more to resemble Hoth, here’s a couple of survival tips for you to help you get out and about in these most troubling of times.

Ditch the car – get a tauntaun

Oh sure, your car may well have perfectly adequate heating. It may have four-wheel drive, leather seats and perhaps even a fancy cup-holder.  But there’s one thing it doesn’t have, and that’s the capacity for love.  Tauntauns are the perfect means of transport in the icy wasteland the UK is fast becoming; they’re warm, fluffy and (mostly) capable of withstanding ridiculously low temperatures. Plus they snort encouragingly when you’re having difficulty finding your lost companions.  And, of course, they won’t think twice about laying down their lives for your preservation and warmth.  Sure, they smell bad inside and out, but that’ll probably clear up if you hang a pine-scented freshener around their neck.

God bless you, Timmy The Tauntaun, God bless you.

Wrap up warm? Nah – pilot a mech

Ok, so you’re too attached to your vehicle to swap it for a loving flesh-and-blood ride.  Fair enough. But one thing that Anime has taught us is that everything is better with giant robots, so why should this situation be any different?  Consider the advantages – while everyone else is sat in gridlocked traffic, wearing three layers of clothing and cursing the poor town planning that’s led to jammed roads as far as the eye can see, you’ll literally be striding ahead of them.  And as for accessories, if you think the cup-holder’s a swanky feature, how about heat-seeking missiles?  Giant beam-swords?  Fuzzy dice that transform into robot sidekicks? The possibilities are limitless.

Pack a phaser, lightsaber, plasma rifle – any kind of weapon, really

You might think this is a bit of an overreaction, but having seen The Day of Tomorrow I can safely assume that the zoos will open and England’s cities will be overrun with wild animals. Well, the cities that have zoos will be.  If the animals don’t freeze first.  Still, you can never be too careful – if you do decide to take your car out instead of a tauntaun or mech (you rash fool) then you’ll doubtless be set upon by fellow commuters who have turned feral due to the lack of warmth and comfort.  They will likely be trying to steal your dashboard cigarette lighter to provide warmth, or perhaps your CDs out of your glove compartment if they’ve mistakenly left the house with nothing but a handful of Eminem albums (which would be enough to turn anyone feral).  We can assume that in this terrible harsh climate of chilly fear, post-apocalyptic survival rules apply. Make your in-car snacks last!

Too cold for ice-cream – eat Space Food instead

Speaking of food, you might get a craving for ice-cream while you’re staring at the soft white snow that’s inexorably burying you and your car alive in an icy seasonal tomb.  But eating an ice-lolly now would bring your core temperature down, which would SURELY be fatal in these circumstances. You need to conserve your body temperature! In this case, you could probably do worse than to invest in some freeze-dried ice-cream, which is neither cold nor wet. When eaten with a Soylent Green sandwich and a Romulan Ale, it should make for quite a filling meal.  Hopefully it won’t be your last!

So there you have it. In all seriousness, stay safe on the roads out there, and please remember to feed your tauntauns well, or they’ll freeze before you hit the first junction on your route home. In which case, I’ll see you in hell!

Sci-Fi/Fantasy films and television have had their fair share of lackluster ladies.  I recently came across an article that discussed the worst action heroines that have disgraced the small and silver screens.  Kennedy may be the most hated character in Buffyverse; Arwen was content to just sit around waiting for her man; and Queen Amidala let herself die of a broken heart despite her obligation as a new mother.  While these bad eggs exist, the superior women of Sci-Fi come along to remind us why we keep watching.  I’ve compiled a list of ten Sci-Fi heroines that top the chart of cool, in no particular order (because that would have been unfair, and way too exhausting):

1.  Buffy Summers  (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

She’s witty, she’s hot, and she’ll kick your vampy ass all over town.  Buffy changed the face of TV high school drama by giving girls the aspiration to carry stakes and crossbows in their purse instead of just lipstick.  Along with the Scoobie gang, many of us shared the same touchstones of growing up, just perhaps without the bloodshed.  Buffy’s graduation, the death of a parent, and tumultuous love were all some of the things we could relate to, expertly written by Joss Whedon and his team.  But perhaps most of the credit should be given to SMG, who’s depth, sarcasm, and playful wit brought the legendary Slayer of Sunnydale to life.

2.  Princess Leia Organa  (Star Wars trilogy)

An iconic figure since the debut of Star Wars, Leia was the princess that empowered young girls.  She proved that royalty could be headstrong, intelligent, and didn’t wear a bra (feminist statement or lack of underwire in space?  you be the judge).  Leia’s hair started a cultural phenomena, and her gold bikini is still pretty hot over twenty years later.  You would think the daughter of Amidala might be clingy, but Leia loved Han Solo and orchestrated a mission to rescue him.  Leia is worthy of all the praise, and the action figures.

3.  Leeloo  (The Fifth Element)

What if the key to saving Earth and all of humanity was 5’8, strikingly beautiful, and running around in strategically placed bandages?  Leeloo is not only all of these things, she’s also adorable when eating chicken and figuring out make-up.  She can also kick major alien ass and learn the entire human history in a few hours.  No one can forget “Leeloo Dallas, Mulitpass”, or that strange neon orange hair that only Milla Jovovich can pull off.  Let’s just be glad Corbin Dallas is sexy enough to convince her the Earth’s worth saving.

4.  Hermoine Granger  (Harry Potter series)

She’s the youngest lady on this list, but she certainly packs an academic wallop worthy of being recognized.  Hermoine is known at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for being a know-it-all, Muggle-born, and the brightest witch of her age.  Though she doesn’t fight with her fists (okay, there was that one awesome time – Malfoy!), Hermoine wages battle with her mind and her trusty wand, which might be even cooler.  Smarts and intellect count for a lot in my book, and Hermoine certainly makes the grade.

5.  Sydney Bristow  (Alias)

What’s cooler than getting to dress up and kick ass while doing it?  Sydney and her endless trunk of disguises played double agent for the CIA in J.J. Abram’s entertaining spy drama.  Syd had Daddy issues, a mysterious (and sexy) spy boyfriend, and Bradley Cooper as a best friend (lucky girl).  Syd dealt with a lot of hardships, but her sweetness and determination saw her through the darkest times, including a zombie sister and an evil best friend.  But after a tough day of saving the world, Agent Bristow seemed like the kind of super spy you could just share a drink and some girl talk with.  The best spy is the relatable kind.   

6.  Ellen Ripley  (Alien saga)

Sigourney Weaver made women just as valuable as men on the final frontier.  No longer were they in the background translating dialects (no offense, Uhura) or waiting around to be saved.  Ripley, throughout the Alien movies, did what she had to do to stay alive where no one would hear her scream.  She protected her team, her child, and the world from aliens and corporate corruption by sacrificing her own safety and eventually her life.  Ripley bended gender stereotypes and gave Hollywood a new kind of action hero, not afraid to shoot a gun in her skivvies.

7.  Juliet Burke  (Lost)

On a mysterious island that no one can find, Juliet manages to maintain her cool surprisingly well.  If you’ve watched an episode of Lost, you know how hard that is.  Brought on as a fertility specialist to solve a puzzling epidemic of killer pregnancies on the Island, Juliet becomes deeply tangled in the web of the Dharma Initiative and Ben Linus’ pile of bullshit.  Her seemingly stoic nature was perfect Ben lackey criteria, doing his evil bidding until she decided to switch teams and play for the good guys.  Juliet is strong, intelligent, and cool as a cucumber under enormous stress (and ticking time bombs – literally), and that’s why she’s the Lostie I’d pick in any crisis.     

8.  Trinity  (The Matrix)

Computer hackers might have been those losers in mom’s basement before 1999.  But after Trinity, they were hot, decked in leather, and owned an unlimited supply of shades and ammo.  There’s probably no one cooler than Trinity, or no one cooler than I can think of.  Out of all the ladies on this list, she can learn how to fly a helicopter in three seconds and kick your ass a thousand different ways if you give her an hour or two.  And in slow-motion.  Dodge that.

9.  Neytiri  (Avatar)

The newest woman to the list is tall, beautiful, and blue.  Neytiri is the cat-like Na’vi princess of James Cameron’s Pandora, existing organically by living off the earth and connecting with her world.  Her peaceful symbiosis with nature is what makes her such a great new addition to feminine canon, but also her gargantuan bow and arrow for keeping you the hell off her planet.

10.  Sarah Connor  (T2: Judgment Day)

Everyone remembers The Terminator, but Sarah Connor didn’t become a presence until T2: Judgment Day.  Having been locked away for talking nonsense, Sarah made sure to tone those guns in case Arnold ever showed his face again.  Sarah Connor busting out of the hospital is one of the best payback scenes in cinema history (that orderly certainly had it coming).  She has a rough exterior, but underneath it all, she’s driven by an overpowering love for her son.  Maybe just a little rage, too.

I’ve recently started planning my wedding to a fellow sci-fi/fantasy geek, whom I’ve shared the past seven wonderful years with (Happy Anniversary, sweetie!).  We certainly intend on making certain elements of the blessed event geek-tastic, but it got me thinking: how far do some die hard fans take it?  I decided to investigate.

Geeky Wedding Ceremonies:

The possibilities are virtually endless.  Typing “geeky weddings” into Google image search brought up thousands of terrific results from the special days of geeks around the world.  From a lightsaber salute honoring the bride and groom, to “I do”s by your nearest ordained Klingon, themed wedding ceremonies seemed to be a classic sci-fi staple for geeky couples.

The most interesting example I found was a hardcore Star Wars wedding.  The groom was fully dedicated to being Admiral Ackbar, complete with mask, the couple was married by Slave Leia, and most of the wedding party were dressed in some kind of far, far away galaxy garb.  And check out that epically cool cake!

Geeky Wedding Cakes:

The sugary, delicious confection that takes center stage at most weddings can now be designed to the strictest of specifications.  Most brides still go with the traditional ivory tiered cake, but the bells and whistles are just a bit fancier.  Geeks have a whole new range to think about when it comes to designing their wedding cake.  Maybe a diorama of the original Enterprise, or the One Up mushrooms from Mario.  There are plenty of ideas to be had, as well as a variety of action figure cake toppers.

I personally like this Stargate cake topper.  I just don’t see enough of those.

Geeky Wedding Rings:

It’s now possible to display your eternal geeky love on your sacred fingers with themed wedding sets.  In my search, I came across rings featuring USB ports, binary, and my favorite, elvish.  The beautiful scrawling script on the “One Ring” is now available on many rings for purchase for that special day.  I happen to find elvish very pleasing to the eye, and since it’s actually a real language, you can inscribe whatever loving phrase your heart desires.

Anyone else getting married soon? Are you keeping the geek in your nuptials? I wonder how many Avatar themed weddings will pop up this year… lets just hope the blue body paint doesn’t get out of hand.

One thing that science fiction movies have plenty of are fantastic lines and over the years the list of extremely stellar quotes has become longer and more exciting. Creating this list was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, there were just too many and narrowing it down to 10 was a daunting process. I actually shed a few tears when I removed, “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope” and nearly gave up. Luckily, I persevered and can now present to you, my list.

10.  “M.I. does the dying. Fleet just does the flying.” – Johnny Rico, Starship Troopers (1997)

Why:  Johnny Rico just had his lieutenant and his best friend die in his arms and when he tells command to blow up the outpost he is given the response, “Negative on your request. The sky marshal has other plans for planet ‘P.’” That would irritate me a bit as well, not to mention that he was picked up by his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend that she broke up with him for. Poor Johnny, he just can’t catch a break. Also, who doesn’t enjoy a little Casper Van Dien jaw clenching? This line is great for it.

9.  “Leeloo Dallas, Multipass.” – Leeloo, The Fifth Element (1997)

Why:   Because I love Milla Jovovich. She is amazing in this movie and after it came out I was fully planning on naming my daughter Leeloo, dying my hair orange and getting some white strips of leather to wear around town. This quote also made it into my top 10 over others because I use it fairly often in my day to day life, for instance, every single time someone asks to see my ID.

8.  “Are you telling me you built a time machine… out of a Delorean?” – Marty McFly, Back to the Future (1985)

Why:  If you are going to build a time machine you might as well do it with some style, am I right? Deloreans look more like time machines than cars anyway so the Doc was already half way there, all it needed was the flux-capacitor and 1.21 gigawatts of electricity. Oh, and Michael J. Fox is the man so he makes this quote better.

7.  ”E.T. phone home.” – E.T., E.T. The Extraterrestrial (1982)

Why:  You probably assume that I am quoting E.T. when he points to the sky and says this line, I am not. I am actually saying, “E.T. phone HOOOOOME!” from when he is coming back to life again and Elliott finds him. He is such a cutie pie and I love him. His face makes me smile every time I think about it.

6.  “I’ll be back.” – The Terminator, The Terminator (1984)

Why:  I can remember being on the playground in elementary school, dropping Terminator lines like there was no tomorrow and I hadn’t even heard of the movie yet. When I finally saw The Terminator for the first time, it was like fitting the last puzzle piece of my childhood into its spot and everything was right in the world. I finally understood what I was talking about at recess and I gave 7 year old me a high five.

5.  “Live long and prosper.” – Spock, Star Trek (1960s)

Why:  I feel I must preface this by saying I am a much bigger Star Wars fan than Star Trek but I will admit to using this line more than several times throughout the course of my life. It is such a nice way of bidding adieu and when I finally figured out how to separate my ring and middle fingers, I felt like I had accomplished something truly impressive. It also helps that I have a crush on Spock after watching Zachary Quinto in the role. Sorry, Leonard Nimoy, you never did it for me.

4.  ”Get away from her, you bitch!” – Ellen Ripley, Aliens (1986)

Why:  This is one of my favorites for one simple reason, Ripley is badass. Who else would talk to an alien like that?

3.  ”There is no spoon.” – Spoon Boy, The Matrix (1999)

Why:….There is no spoon?? Whaaat? Wow, you are RIGHT, Spoon Boy! There IS no spoon. All of this is… it’s fake, it’s not real! Am I really here? Are YOU really here? Is this air I’m breathing? How will I eat my cereal?

2.  ”I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I cant do that.” – HAL 9000, 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Why:  Talk about giving the heebie jeebies, this line left me a serious case of the goosebumps. The idea of computers becoming so smart that they can take over the world is a hot topic in the science fiction world and this movie, without a doubt, does it the best. HAL is one creepy heuristic algorithmic machine, from his monotone voice to the way his little red eye would watch the goings on of the crew… it’s no wonder he was ranked #13 in AFIs Top Villains of All Time.

1.  ”Do or do not, There is no try.” – Yoda, Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Why:  Wise, is he. If there is one quote that can be used nearly every day and still hold the same power as it did the first time, this is it. When someone uses this line against me I feel ashamed, then I feel empowered. It’s only different in my mind! I can do anything! I will do it and succeed or do it and fail, either way I am giving it my all and succeeding in life! How is it that Star Wars can make me feel so good? Thank the maker.

Honorable Mention: “No Nukes! No Nukes!” – Rockhound, Armageddon (1998)

Why:  I could be at work, class, food shopping, driving, pretty much doing anything and when I remember this line I will burst out laughing because Steve Buscemi is so awesomely ridiculous.

If you disagree with any of my selections or feel I have missed some particularly awesome gems, comment!  I’d love to discuss.

WOW, is the only word I could say when I came across this mash up between Adidas and Star Wars.

Check out the link below for a full gallery of the products they have on offer:

Adidas Originals Star Wars Collection

These products where outed on the 8th December, I can’t believe no one told me sooner!

EmpressEve over at GeeksOfDoom.com has posted a great little article on the fates of the leading ladies in Harrison Ford’s major movies.

So you’re the female lead in a Harrison Ford action movie, you might want to hire a bodyguard because peril surely awaits you. Here’s a look at some of the dangers Ford’s previous fems faced and the fate they ultimately met.

Well worth a quick glance at, if you’re interested.

Warner Bros have officially released the trailer for Star Wars: The Clone Wars.  I’m almost 100% sure I saw this leaked a few months ago, when I wasn’t really paying much attention, but regardless, it’s out now and it’s official.

If you’re confused about what Star Wars: The Clone Wars is, then please check out the guide we posted when the official poster was released.

Enjoy!  Some great stylistic aspects coming to show here, such as the designs on Jabba and Count Dooku.  Also pleasing to see stars such as Samuel L. Jackson still providing their voices. 

Despite the greatness of the trailer, I’m tired of the Duel of the Fates music… do they have to play it in everything Star Wars related these days?  I’m hoping the movie and TV show will have a new John Williams score.

Update: Nope, it appears that Kevin Kiner will be doing the original score for the movie. Great. What experience does he have? Well, he composed two episodes of Star Trek: Enterprise once… Damn. They could have picked Brian Tyler. And does the name Kevin Kiner remind anyone else of Kevin Kilner, of Earth: Final Conflict fame?

Kelvin Pike did. And that’s not all…

This Saturday, Raindance are welcoming veteran cameraman Kelvin Pike BSC to the Kodak Masterclass at BAFTA. His work includes 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, THE SHINING, STAR WARS: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, DR. STRANGELOVE and HEAVEN’S GATE.

Kelvin will speak about his filmmaking career and show examples of his work giving an exclusive behind the scenes look at what it was like working on some of the most iconic films of the 20th Century.

And yes don’t worry, we’ve made sure to save some time for all your questions about Kubrick and Lucas.

When? Saturday, May 10th from 2-4pm
Where? BAFTA, 195 Piccadilly London W1J 9LN
Price? £10

To book a place ring 020 7287 3833 or go to www.raindance.co.uk and look under ‘upcoming events’. Be quick – space is very limited so tickets are in short supply!

Many of you have no doubt seen the very successful Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager on YouTube. If not, here you go:

What you may not know about, is where the movie came from. It was the winner of the ‘George Lucas Selects Award ’07′, part of the Star Wars Fan Movie Challenge.

The challenge is back this year, open to anyone, and also revamped.

Here’s what we’ve been informed:

AtomFilms has teamed up again with Lucasarts for the annual fan film challenge. Star Wars fans should submit their fan movie, parody or official Star Wars mashup by the MAY 27 deadline for a shot at intergalactic infamy! Not only will the winners be announced at the San Diego Comic Con in July – including one winning film hand-selected by George Lucas himself – but top clips will earn air time on Spike TV! Plus, this is the first year that fans can enter mashups in the contest — the simple mashup tool at http://starwars.com lets fans use real Star Wars footage to create their entries, so now you don’t need a camera to make a film!

We think Sci-Fi Heaven readers will be interested in checking out the new site so they can get cracking on their fan films. The deadline for entry is MAY 27, and voting will run on AtomFilms.com from JUNE 26 until JULY 10. Please encourage your fans to check out the site and get those cameras rolling! And if they’re looking for inspiration, they can find this year’s finalists at http://www.atomfilms.com/films/star_wars_fan_films.jsp as well as previous winners.

There you go! It couldn’t be more simple. Official rules and guidelines can be found at the comphrensive guide site.

Enjoy!

If you’re slightly confused about whats’ going on with Clone Wars, don’t be. You’re not alone.

In an effort to help explain, this poster is for the upcoming theatrical movie.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars is an upcoming CGI animated film set to be released on August 15, 2008 in theaters in the US. It’s basically a film introduction to the upcoming CGI television series, confusingly of the same name.

As for the TV series, it’s also called Star Wars: The Clone Wars. It’s an CGI cartoon series created by Lucasfilm Animation and Lucasfilm Animation Singapore and set to debut on Cartoon Network in late 2008, and according to George Lucas, there will be “at least 100 episodes”. It is set in the fictional Star Wars galaxy, during the same time period as the 2003 Star Wars: Clone Wars series. Hang on – the what?

Star Wars: Clone Wars (notice the lack of ‘the’, that clears everything up!) was ANOTHER CGI cartoon series set in the Star Wars galaxy. It was produced by Cartoon Network, aired in 25 chapters from 2003 to 2005, and is no longer in production.

All good.

So, to summarise, there was a CGI cartoon series called Star Wars: Clone Wars. It ended. Now, a new movie being launched called Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and it’s going to lead into a new CGI cartoon called… Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

Someone shoot Lucas’ naming department.